Teen: 'I had no Choice but to say Something'

Teenager alleges underage relationship with high school janitor came to light following March altercation.

A 19-year-old Newtown teenager, who allegedly began dating 39-year-old Newtown High School custodian James Young nearly four years ago, said details of their relationship became public about a month ago after Young was accused of threatening and assaulting her in Southbury.

“I have no choice but to say something,” said the teenager, who asked not to be identified due to the sensitivity of the case.

The teenager said the charges and relationship between the two became public following a March 20 altercation in Southbury in which Young, of Middlebury, was charged with disorderly conduct, second-degree threatening, second-degree criminal mischief and third-degree assault.

Southbury police have not responded to requests for more information on that altercation.

In court files connected with that case, a Superior Court judge in Waterbury ordered that Young stay away from the teenager and refrain from making any contact with her.

The teenager said that through statements she made in connection with that March incident, authorities learned that the alleged dating relationship between the two began when she was only 15-years-old and attended Newtown High School where Young worked.

Under Connecticut law, it is illegal forand where the age difference is more than three years. It also is illegal for a Board of Education employee to have sex with a student enrolled in one of the schools in the district.

Young has not responded to requests for comment. A lawyer has not filed an appearance in Waterbury court on Young's behalf.

The teenager said she first got to know Young in the course of dating a fellow Newtown High School student who also worked for Young. Young operates a landscaping business outside of school.

The relationship with the fellow student did not last, although after that break-up, the teenager said she remained friends with Young particularly because they would see each other in school.

They would talk, and became more comfortable with each other, the teenager said, adding that eventually, they began making plans to see each other after school, meeting in places, such as Starbucks where they would continue their conversation.

The meet-ups then would include drives in his car and eventually he took her to his house, according to the teenager.

“It ended up being sexual and kind of an emotional relationship,” she said. “It was a mutual thing.”

The teenager said she felt uneasy about the relationship due to the age difference but believed that after graduation, she would see less of Young as she attended college and worked at the same time.

But the relationship continued, the teenager said, adding that eventually she decided she didn't want to be in the relationship any more. She said that several months ago, she repeatedly told Young that she wanted him to leave her alone.

The teenager said that it was a Sunday in March that she and a male friend were on their way home from house sitting for another friend in Waterbury when she allegedly spotted Young in his black car waiting for her. Through the window, Young allegedly began making threatening gestures at her, the teenager said.

A car chase ensued and through a cell phone call, Young allegedly told the teenager he was going to kill her and her friend, the teenager said. He also demanded she returned to him $260, which she assumed was to pay for tires he had bought for her on her birthday, the teenager said.

The teenager said she pulled off Interstate 84 into a parking lot in Southbury where she got out of the car. Young approached, allegedly threatened her and was pulling at her when a Southbury police officer, who had spotted the car chase, apprehended Young, the teenager said.

She said police told her that once he was in custody, Young denied allegations the relationship had become sexual, telling police that he had never invited the teenager to his bedroom.

The police asked her to verify her story by drawing a map of Young’s bedroom where much of the sexual intercourse occurred, the teenager said.

The teenager said she complied and offered details of Young’s bedroom, such as the Hawaiian girl lamp he displayed on his night stand as evidence she said that she had been there and was intimately familiar with the room.

“I’m not going to lie,” she said.

Young is to appear in Superior Court in Waterbury on Thursday to answer to the sexual assault and other charges.

tiredofthehypocrisy April 26, 2011 at 01:00 PM
She's not going to lie, but she DID have a choice in not telling them anything. She didn't have to give them any information. So, the cops pushed the "sex with a minor" issue and delved deeper into something that only started after they witnessed an argument between the two. No one pressed charges and no one filed a motion, except the cops. This would have remained private, if the cops didn't go out of their way to find a crime. I feel bad for both the guy and the girl. They're both the victims here... But him mostly of course. But then, he was the idiot who got involved with a child. As an adult, he should have known the ramifications of involving himself with someone so naive. The fact that he actually thought they would last? The cops are the main criminals here. Why did they have to pursue this to this extent? Don't they have anything better to do, like catch drug dealers or something?
Sam Mihailoff April 26, 2011 at 01:21 PM
if this proves true, like I said in earlier posts "Hang-em-High so, since 15, not a single teacher, peer-employee or administrator saw anything or heard any rumors upon which to become curious and act??? If this is the case, what else is being conveniently overlooked at NHS? OR... The yet to be named "victim" is a great story teller
Tanga April 26, 2011 at 01:37 PM
"The cops are the main criminals here." Are you joking?? The cops "pushed" the "sex with a minor issue"?! Um, the cops are doing their JOBS, and thank God. Apparently you're unaware that it's ILLEGAL for a 35-year-old man to have sex with a 15-year-old, regardless of whether or not there is consent. He is a child predator; there is no getting around this fact. It's an inarguable point of LAW. And if a child predator is working in a school system, that's kind of a big deal, don't you think??? I know it is for me, as a parent. The cops didn't "go out of their way to find a crime," they found a man breaking the law (assault/stalking/car chase) and took action, as is their job as LAW ENFORCERS. So, should the cops turn a blind eye and allow someone capable of violence/assault and SEX WITH A MINOR stay in our school system????? Give me a break! I applaud the officers for doing their jobs: pursuing criminals, maintaining our children's safety, and keeping a lowlife off the Board of Education's payroll!
Jayne Long April 26, 2011 at 01:57 PM
I would be curious to know if her parents knew of this relationship, especially if what they say is true...that she was only 15 and he was 35 when it started. The cops will do their job, but I also think parents have a job and must have a role here too. I have a daughter and I am not sure I would be thrilled if she told me (when she is 15, many years away) that she is seeing a guy who is 35. A 35 year old guy does not date a girl, just to hold her hand!
tiredofthehypocrisy April 26, 2011 at 02:02 PM
I'm quite sure that the girl's father is pretty angry with the guy & his daughter, for their relationship. HE should be the only one handling this topic. NOT the police. There's no way in hell that I'd allow the police to put *my* daughter through this. I'm not saying that it's okay for a 35 year old guy to have a relationship with a 15 year old. The idea gives me the creeps! But that's a personal opinion and should NOT be something that needs to be written into law. But that's another matter entirely. My focus is elsewhere. My point is, that it is NOT the job of the police to pursue a crime when no one has filed a complaint for one. It's NOT their job. It's NOT. The girl didn't file a complaint or ask for their help in any kind of a "sex offence". They simply saw an argument take place and searched for an issue that was not at hand. How often do people call the police for help in a domestic disturbance, only to be told that they can't do anything... That it's a civil matter? And if there are no other concerns at hand, they have to back off. If there's no reason for them to hang around, they gotta' go & have to stop wasting their time. Time & time again. They saw a domestic disturbance & should have backed off after they dealt with that event. They instead coerced a young girl into telling them things based on "someone's" personal concern or agenda, within the police force. I'd like to bet it was an officer with religious and personal reasons that got him concerned.
tiredofthehypocrisy April 26, 2011 at 02:04 PM
Yet, all of this is only one side of the story. None of us can pass anything but our own judgments and opinions, when none of us have heard both sides of the story. When and if his side is made public, that is.
Janice Rossi April 26, 2011 at 04:00 PM
Jayne, I sure hope they didn't know. A 35yr old man should know this is wrong and something is wrong with him.
kris April 26, 2011 at 04:47 PM
The only "crime" here is that this "lttle girl" is being allowed to completely ruin someone's life!! DON'T tell me that the parents didn't know what was going on when she was a minor! And if they REALLY didn't then SHAME on them!! 4 years later is just a little too late to pursue legal action! She got mad at him and is now "getting him back!" SHE should be in jail for making him go through this. Yes, I DID go to school with Jimmy and he is one person that I KNOW would never hurt anyone intentionally. She was a willing partner. 15 year olds DO know the difference between right and wrong!!
Tanga April 26, 2011 at 04:54 PM
My point is that the police HAVE to get involved when they learn that the perp works in the school system and that he met (and had sex) with a teenager attending the school he was working at. It's part of the discovery process to learn where and how these two people know each other/the nature and extent of their relationship. Sorry, but the police are following the the letter of the law and should not "back off" when they discover a school employee had sex with a student. Do you believe it's okay for school employees to have sex with students? What if it were a principal or teacher who did this? Would you be okay with them staying employed at the school?? Where do you draw the line? You DON'T: You follow the law. This has NOTHING to do with a police officer's "religious and personal reasons" or belief system---it's the law, and it's indisputable. If the police DIDN'T do their job and DIDN'T pull someone working in our school system who had sex with a student out of school, you really think the public would find that acceptable??? The facts are the facts: a 35-year-old had sex with an underage girl. This is against the law. This is a child predator, no matter how you slice it. The police did their job. End of story!
Tanga April 26, 2011 at 05:10 PM
It's still against the law. It's still sex with a minor. If you re-read the article, you will see that she freely admits it was mutually consensual and that she was a willing partner, so she is not the one charging him with the crime: THE POLICE ARE!! IT'S THEIR JOB TO UPHOLD THE LAW, and the fact that it was consensual sex is IRRELEVANT. Why is this so hard to understand? The police are doing their jobs. The fact that he is employed by the Board of Education, is in contact with children on daily basis, and had sex with a girl 20 YEARS younger than him while she was a student is a BIG DEAL. He should not be employed by the Board of Education. This isn't rocket science, people!
kris April 26, 2011 at 05:54 PM
Seems kind of odd that a 15 yr. old can be charged as an ADULT for crimes they committ. So why is it that a 15 yr old is a "minor" if the "crime" is done to them?? Seems some what hypocritical. Maybe the LAW should be something to be looked into.
kyle April 26, 2011 at 06:26 PM
Very strange to me that on other posts "jimmy" was refered to as a hard working "saint". It would seem odd to me that the town still allows janitors to travel overnight with students and sleep in hotels as well...........weird little town we live in.
tiredofthehypocrisy April 26, 2011 at 07:08 PM
Wow, you're full of yourself. I disagree. And obviously no one is going to change either of our minds. I've said what I need to say and so have you.
tiredofthehypocrisy April 26, 2011 at 07:11 PM
Just keep repeating yourself Tanga. Over and over again. Obviously others disagree with you and have their own opinions on the matter. Just because they aren't your opinions, doesn't mean they're wrong. Let it go.
tiredofthehypocrisy April 26, 2011 at 07:14 PM
He's obviously not very bright. Anyone with enough experience and maturity should certainly know to not have ANYTHING to do with a child. Morality aside, how could he possibly think she wouldn't grow up herself? Dumb.
Tanga April 26, 2011 at 10:02 PM
Um, actually all my points are facts or fact-based, not opinions. Well, except for the "rocket science" part... ;)
sailing April 26, 2011 at 10:36 PM
She could have obviously seen the bedroom after she had turned 18. Which is then considered legal.
sailing April 26, 2011 at 11:01 PM
And he has not been proven guily. How do any of us know the he DID have a sexual relationship with her before she was 18. Why does everyone assume everything they read is the truth. The truth will come out eventually. Does anyone remember they saying that goes along with the word ASSUME.
obamasucks April 26, 2011 at 11:16 PM
i guess my dad should have gotten the chair,seeing how he married my mother when she was 15 and he was 21.at least they waited till she was 17 to have me!or i would be a rape baby!
Martha Weinstein April 27, 2011 at 12:54 AM
Many of the posts here are childish! Clearly any male over age 21 should have enough common sense to stay away from a child. After reading this article and Hoa's priors, I've concluded that the girl never intended for her relationship with Mr. Young to be exposed. It looks like Young couldn't except that the girl matured and was moving on in her life, so he apparently chased her down in his car while telephoning death threats to her. As he was charged with Assault & Criminal Mischief too, he must have gotten physical with the Girl & damaged something. These CRIMINAL acts apparently happened in front of a Southbury Police Officer (it would be nice to read the police report). The fact some poster's here expect the police NOT to investigate crimes is proposterous (please stop drinking the Kool Aid "tiredofthehypocracy"). The police are mandated by law to identify & investigate crimes, whether or not you agree with the law (contact your state legislator if you don't like it!). This matter negatively effects many people; Mr. Young, Newtown High School students, administration, teachers & janitors, our entire town (remember "It's Nicer in Newtown"), but especially the Girl. I'm curious to know if this was the Girl's 1st relationship, and if she attended school dances & proms, or did her relationship with Young prevent her from doing these teenage things? If the girl missed out on her youth, that is the real tragedy here!
john pookman December 30, 2011 at 02:13 AM
Jim was great guy and still is a great guy.I've known him for years and will think nothing less of him by this incident.It was a consensual relationship regardless of age. How many times have we seen a woman who looks 12 but is 20?Or the reverse.It is an individual gage of maturity. Let the truth speak and be just for this man and every other that falls for a younger woman.
G December 30, 2011 at 08:36 AM
@ john pookman Yup - sounds like ol' "Jim" is a real stand-up guy and a role model for us all. Allegedly he raped her multiple times and threatened to kill her and her friend. Sounds like a "great guy" to me! Do you have a young daughter, Mr. Pookman? If so, would you leave her alone with this man? Sorry, but I've never mistaken a 12 year old for a 20 year old, or vice versa, male or female. Don't know where you live, but I hope it's not in my neighborhood.! And why are you just now commenting on an article that appeared 8 months ago? Are you new to the area or did you just wake up?
meh September 14, 2012 at 07:19 AM
Jim, may the lord grant you strength and peace during these difficult times. I love you, have always loved you, and I'll never forget you.
meh September 14, 2012 at 07:22 AM
It's ashame he had to go to jail. People who have committed far worse crimes are out free. Aaaaand that's all i gotta say about that. I miss you baby, and i've always and forver keep your memory in my heart, you're a good man,
mary smith September 27, 2012 at 07:39 PM
GUILTY AS CHARGED!!! 10 YRS!! People don't just get convicted without EVIDENCE!!!! He's right where he belongs!!!~ People who stand by pedophiles must be pedophiles too!!!
hello October 21, 2012 at 12:36 AM
Not a pedophile, I'm his ex gf and even though he messed up, I can truthfully say he was a good guy.
CKP December 13, 2012 at 06:27 AM
He is not a "good guy"...he has been abusing girls since he was a teenager, a YOUNG teenager. This has been going on for decades. He deserves every day in jail he gets.


More »
Got a question? Something on your mind? Talk to your community, directly.
Note Article
Just a short thought to get the word out quickly about anything in your neighborhood.
Share something with your neighbors.What's on your mind?What's on your mind?Make an announcement, speak your mind, or sell somethingPost something
See more »