Letter in response to awards given to Sandy Hook Emergency Responders

July 11, 2014

Open Letter to Governor Malloy and the State of Connecticut,
Today I read an article in the Newtown Patch about about a ceremony that that occurred Tuesday July 9th, 2014 where 300 "troopers, volunteers, and officers" were honored with awards for their response to the Sandy Hook Elementary School shooting on December 14, 2012.  The article concludes as the author asks, "Do you recognize any of these names?"

I was not at Sandy Hook, although I personally know many of the EMTs and paramedics were were there.  I read through that list four times, scanning the page for their names. It took me 4 passes to comprehend the fact that the medics and EMTs who transported victims to area hospitals were not included in the list.  Other names of EMS personnel who were directly involved were absent as well. 

I am aware that at least two victims were taken to the hospital in an ambulance that day. That means there were two transporting units, and therefore two separate crews who made patient contact and provided advanced life support. Of those two ambulances, one contained a child who did not survive. The other ambulance transported an injured adult.  Both were cared for by a crew of one paramedic and one EMT, at the very least. These providers, astonishingly, did not make the list. 

Even more staggering, it appears Connecticut forgot to acknowledge Newtown's own EMS. The town of Newtown has its own volunteer ambulance service.  All of them are trained in basic life support. All of them are prepared to respond to Newtown's medical emergencies and traumatic injuries when the tone drops. A number of Newtown's volunteer EMTs went to that call.  They, too, were waiting at the staging area for patients. They were ready to provide life support, whatever form that may have been. None of these individuals made the list. 

Every single one of these emergency medical providers were prepared to manage compromised airways. They were prepared to manage severe bleeding, abdominal injuries and traumatic cardiac arrest. They were ready to provide advanced life support in hopes of, at best, saving the patient's life, and at the worst, giving the patient an extra hour or two on this earth so that families could say a proper goodbye. 

There were many, many more paramedics and EMTs on scene that day in December, expecting to transport. They were dispatched from numerous surrounding towns and agencies. We, as emergency medical providers, are not comfortable when we can provide no aid. It's an unbearably helpless feeling, so most of them, like so many other people that day, did what they could: Passed out water, blankets, and other gestures of care because there was nothing else to do.

This call might have been a career-ender for some of us. No one ever wants to get called to a shooting of this magnitude, particularly one that involves children. But when the call comes in, we go, each and every time. Those who were there and were recognized should have been recognized. It is part of the healing process for everyone involved, emergency provider or not. But to find that a number of responders who played a significant role in the event were left out is an injustice I can not ignore. 

I just want to be clear about the purpose of this letter. EMTs and paramedics do not do this job in hopes of receiving any awards. We do this job for a number of personal reasons, but it is never for recognition. We are proud of what we do. We are proud of our brothers and sisters when they have a save, and our hearts ache for our colleagues when we hear about a call that didn't go so well. Why? Because in our business, we all know that feeling. 

So, while I can not imagine exactly how those who were on scene are internalizing their daily fluctuating and paralyzing emotions, and I do not know exactly how they are coping, I do intend to stand up for them and what is right. I can say with 100% certainty that they do not want to spend another moment thinking about this incident and don't want your award anyway. All that said, it's highly offensive to us to know that they are completely forgotten or intentionally passed over.

Again, I do not wish to take anything away from any of the medics who entered the building that day, for I'm sure a part of their souls died, too; however, as it is with most things these days, there is a political agenda here that should not go unmentioned. The three paramedics on the list are Danbury Hospital employees. Two of the medics left off the list were employees of Danbury Ambulance Service, a private EMS provider. One of those individuals was the day's dedicated Newtown paramedic and the other was the DA operations supervisor at the time of the incident. They were both on scene, and they were both left off the list.
Politics aside, to ignore these other providers, in particular, at least four of whom actually transported a patient, is unconscionable and disgusting. The psychological effects of this call has all but ended their EMS careers. That is another tragedy that has come out of Sandy Hook.

The only important thing to us EMS types are those kids and their families. Not politics, not awards, not egos. So, Governor Malloy, you should formally know that we noticed. You'll probably never hear another word about it from us, and you certainly won't hear one complaint from those who have been forgotten, but we all know. Another thing that we, in our business, know to be true, it will all come back around. It always does. 

I end with a Facebook quote from one of the paramedics who was positioned at Sandy Hook for six hours on Dec. 14th. I have no idea what he experienced that day nor will I ever ask. He was not one of the 300 on the list. 
"I don't need an award. I wish I wasn't a part of it and that it never happened. My reward to all of you is we will be there regardless. Rest easy 26."

Sincerely,
Lisa D., Emergency Medical Technician
Fairfield County, Connecticut