“There is no way I could do it.”

"What about socialization?”

“My child would never listen to me.”

“Can't afford it.”

According to the National Home Education Research Institute, as of 2008 there were 2 to 2.5 million home schooled children in the United States, with a growth rate of 5- to 12-percent per year.

Many parents, although dissatisfied with their child’s schooling, are reluctant to consider home schooling an option primarily for the reasons cited above.

Despite the gradual awareness that two of my children would have benefited from an alternative education in elementary school, the idea of home schooling never occurred to me. By the time I learned enough to appreciate that it was not complicated or “weird, ” we were well into years of public school. 

What I have since discovered is that depending on the approach, home schooling can actually be quite stress-free, social and advantageous.  It all comes down to why and how a family chooses to approach it.

Thirty one percent of families choose to home school for the environment, 30 percent for religious/moral reasons and 16 percent because of a dissatisfaction with academic instruction at other schools.

I asked one Newtown mother of three, who is presently in her fourth year of homeschooling, why she made the decision:

“We started home schooling,” she said, “because we felt that we could meet each of our individual child’s needs best that way and ensure that they continue to love the process of learning.”

 “Homeschooling,” said another Newtown mom who has always home schooled her teenager,  “was a natural extension of my daughter’s life and learning up to that point.”

She continued, "I had met other home schooling families and I really liked what I saw in their kids: independence, self-awareness, ability to relate well to others of various ages and in a variety of settings and, active and enthusiastic pursuit of important interests and goals."

This mom told me that there was no one major reason or single moment in which the decision was made not to enroll in a school.

"The reasons," she said, "have evolved over time and the decision is always getting reevaluated. The rewards have been equally diverse and surprising."

"Homeschooling," she concluded "is a misnomer, we don’t 'do school' and we are rarely home!"

Naomi Aldort is a nationally recognized parenting professional and author of the book, Raising Our Children, Raising Ourselves. Naomi lives in Washington state, is mom to three sons and has written extensively about the benefits of homeschooling. I asked Naomi why she chose to home school her boys.

“I didn't ‘choose to home school.’ Instead, I did not choose to send my children away to be educated by some strangers,” she said. “I wanted to provide the conditions for self-directed learning so my children could spend their childhood feeling in charge of their own lives and creating their own future passion from the guidance that is inside of them. Why start being in charge as adults? Why not from the start?”

Of course homeschooling is not for everyone.  Some children do thrive in a school environment. What is worth taking note of, however, is that for families in search of alternatives, homeschooling may be a more realistic option than they had thought. Parents do not necessarily need to act as formal “teachers,” however, it does require organizational skills, creativity, discipline, patience and maturity.

With so many families choosing to home school, socialization is not the issue it once was. In fact many home schoolers believe that their children have more opportunity for authentic socialization as their day is spent interacting with other children rather than sitting side by side in a classroom with interaction occurring primarily at lunch and recess.

Furthermore, the average income of the homeschooling family, according to the Home Education Research Institute, is $52,000. In 1996, a national survey found one could home school for $546.

Mariaemma Pelullo-Willis  is the co-author of “Discover Your Child’s Learning Style” and the co-founder of the Learning Success™ Institute where she helps parents understand and work with their child’s particular style of learning. She is step-mom to two adult children.

Mariaemma told me that if doing it over again she would home school her step-son.

“At that time,” remarked Mariaemma,  “I did not know what I know now about the power of customized education, especially for those kids who need to move or learn in different ways — those kids for whom sitting in a classroom is like torture."

Mariaemma used as an example the experience of her stepson.

“My stepson was in 7^thgrade when he came to live with us,” she said. “We enrolled him in junior high and then a private school for 9^th grade. It just wasn’t going well. When we finally started home schooling, everything changed. He relaxed and began enjoying learning. He was able to focus on his talents and interests, while at the same time learn academic skills (such as math), in his own way and at his own pace. We were meeting his learning style needs! As a result, his attitude and behavior also changed, and we had so much fun together.”

Seeing that hundreds of colleges now accept home schooled students, including Cornell, Harvard and Yale, and that according to the Chicago Sun Times, the number of home schoolers receiving National Merit Scholarships has increased more than 500-percent (from 21 in 1995 to 129 in 2007) it’s hard to argue that home schooling is detrimental.  Rather, it’s an option – and a very beneficial option – for many families.

Given Mariaemma’s extensive personal and professional experience with home schooling, I asked what advice she would offer parents who may be grappling with this issue.

 “My advice,” offered Mariaemma, “ to any parent with this issue – whether the child is very young or a senior in high school – would be this: Do not let school define your child. Do not let the bell curve or test scores define your child. Schools are not equipped to bring out the best in every child — as long as everyone is expected to do the same things at the same age in the same way, the majority of students will not do well and many will fail altogether."

Mariaemma continued, "You know how smart your child is. Go with your intuition — do whatever it takes to coach your child for life success. If at all possible, remove your child from school and begin home schooling to meet your child’s specific learning needs.

"If home schooling is not possible, find out everything you can about your child’s learning styles and learning needs. Share the information with the teacher. If the teacher is not willing to change things, then give your child permission to get that C or D, and give him/her every opportunity to shine outside of school by encouraging his/her talents, interests, and passions."

Mariaemma concluded with this: "YOU are your child’s first and best learning success and life success coach — it’s an important job!”